Moribund Banality

The semester is almost over, hopefully I won’t have to go through another semester like this. I just need to find clear focus and study for my 2 or 3 finals. I am still fiddling around with my schedule next semester, hoping to add a Baseball class. The chances are slim however, since it is waitlisted. 

There is nothing to talk about until later. A dead blog, a boring post.

What can I do.

Ideal Activity

I would really like to smash some glass right about now. Bottles, lighting tubes, windows, screens, the like. Just to see it completely destroyed with little effort, little shards flying helplessly in the air. Just cool to see where the glass will break, and into how many little pieces. Alas, I can’t really do this without attracting a crowd. Also, I would just laying glass outside, which is nothing that should be done. And I can’t really do it indoors either, because I don’t want to clean up the broken glass. When I go home on Wednesday, I would love to just break some bottles in my backyard. But then I have to clean it up becuase I don’t like leaving shards outside for my family to step on. Why can’t there just be a place reserved for people to smash glass without a care for cleanup? Just need to relieve the stress by smashing glass, can’t even do it…

GTFO

So its been a few weeks since I had that meeting with my advisor and after a week of exams (still going) I don’t know what to believe in. My grades aren’t getting better, the work isn’t getting done any quicker, and life isn’t any more interesting. Sometimes I just want to get the fuck out of here and do something else, anything else. Alas, school is a commitment, a long term contract that must be followed. And seeing as how I have no outside talent at all (truth), it would be wise for me to continue rotting and struggling and putrifying and whatever.

After my advisor meeting, I learned to embrace reality of my future schooling and career goals. As “The Rev” (security guard at Rec Center) said it best, I am playing it by ear now. Ambition meanders and possibilities float around. I will try to fish out what is in reach.

One Right After Another Due to Hyper

I ate two big cookies which makes me awake (dryer laundry does too) but I don’t feel like studying so I am writing again. Today the Tampa Bay Devil Rays clinched their first ever playoff berth. I feel great about it, I knew this year’s team was special. To show my team spirit, I will make a lame attempt at a playoff beard. And though growing a beard is impossible, I will just not shave until the Rays get eliminated from the playoffs. Now that’s team spirit.

On another note, increased importance on GPA means all work next few days. I hope my advisor’s little pep talk (scheduled by me) will slap some sense into me, so I could get back on track. Yeah I have to get back on track, taking down the first Organic Chemistry exam is the first step.

First Week Back Wrap

1. After some initial apprehension while working at the Rec Center, I feel that everything will be alright in the end.
2. Working at the Rec Center gives me a sense of goodness that cannot be described. It is as if working there makes me feel good.
3. I am somewhat imcompetent in answering questions but I will get better.
4. Nolan’s is very overrated.
5. I am hoarding my dining dollars in fear I will go hungry in November.
6. Chinese professor is somewhat scary.
7. Chinese has gotten a lot harder after not learning it for a couple years.
8. Living in McCoy isn’t that bad in the end.
9. I get lost in Charles Commons.
10. My classes are still moving around and getting adjusted. 
11. I haven’t gotten hit hard by everything at once yet. Bracing for impact.
12. I love and continue to get free stuff, including three shirts today.
13. Free food events are necessary to keep #5 going.
14. I have to stop playing Mario Kart.
15. People who want “rare” music in DC++ can get it off me. My nickname is J.P. Howell for now.
16. I am playing StarCraft more now and it seems timeless.
17. Omega-3 fish oil promotes heart health.
18. I haven’t gone to the library yet.
19. Why do the Tampa Bay Rays suck so much as of late?
20. Troy Percival has to go.
21. I am expecting more suprises this year.

The Year in Review

As I am almost completely done packing, I will discuss a general overview of my first year in college. It seems a reoccurring theme I bring up all the time is the power of change. This first year in college was definitely a time of change for my character, mostly for the better.

1. I met a lot of people this year and I learned that many people are fake. They are living under a facade of deception, like a magician behind plumes of smokescreen. These people cannot be trusted and can be deleterious in the end. The few, real people are the ones you should hold onto for the future.
2. I learned a little more about Hopkins. Though it is not actually as competitive as I thought (kids ripping out pages in books in library), it does make you an acerbic, angry person in the end. It definitely made me a worse person for the most.
3. I realized that the school workload is ultimately demoralizing to people like me. Sometimes I just wanted to give up because the work just never stopped coming. And I could spend X number of hours studying and fail while other can spend X/4 hours studying and get an A. Another pitiful reoccuring theme.
4. I didn’t drink that much this year, but I did learn that alcohol is a good resort when everything in life sucks. Being drunk is a temporary (or prolonged) state of bliss that cannot be matched by most feelings.
5. I now know that working out and being in good physical condition requires dedication. First semester was a disaster in terms of working out and it was nonexistent for long periods of time. Second semester was rather consistent, but after not working out for about two or three weeks during finals, I gained some weight in fat. While I did gain a good amount of muscle mass this year, I still have to lose fat. Hopefully I could lose most of it this summer with my job (which requires walking about 5-8 miles a day).
6. While I am taking courses for my Public Health major, I know that there are a lot of freebie classes out there at Hopkins. I found one last semester with Subatomic World (A- did not count towards GPA), and will try to take as many as possible. I need to boost my grades any way possible.
7. Though I wouldn’t be living in Charles Commons next year, I’ll try not to be as pissed off living in McCoy. Eventually I might get use to it. Maybe.
8. I am now a sophomore. I remember I though sophomore year was the best in high school. But with the classes I am taking in the fall, it seems like I might be come a D-Level-lurking mole.
9. Baltimore is regarded as shitty by many, mainly because of the high crime rate. However, there is good stuff here, that’s what the seniors say. It is a good cultural oasis for entertainment. I still don’t know enough about the city to defend it just yet, but I have not given up on Baltimore.
10. Wasted opportunities and lugubriousness, the themes for the first year.

I am curious to see if I have Internet at home, I hope I do…

So long, for now.

Freedom Run

Last night I decided to sleep early (around 11:30 PM) so I could wake up early for my Public Health final. However, I could not sleep until 2 AM and I felt really distressed. I went to the bathroom a couple times and knocked back some Codeine to help myself sleep… I did sleep until 8:57 AM. I remember our professor said that he would be locking the doors at 9 AM, I had no time to waste.

So I ran and ran. I got to the classroom at 8:59 AM and saw the test proctor handing out exams. I was tired, dizzy, and disoriented, but I made it. After drinking some water and going to the bathroom, I felt ready to take on the exam. And here I stand. And the doors were never locked at 9 AM. I could have skipped all the drama.

The Path is Clearer

College is all work right now, an experience that I will come to embrace in the sad but not-so-distant future. Today I am trying my best in cramming a lot of information into a limited volume inside my head. I am very taxed and distressed but I must keep working in the library in order to prevent myself from failing school. But time is of the essence, I cannot sleep late today or else I will wake up at 12:00PM and get and get a very bad economics grade = .33(35) + .67(0). Things look gloomy from here on out but the path is getting clearer in the long run.

More Complaining – An Intro

Let’s see, this is the first entry for WordPress, while my account has been around for a few months of inactivity. Name is Jeff Z, could be called Eugene, don’t really care. But anyways, I have written a blog in Xanga, Myspace, Blogspot, Facebook (currently), and now I have moved to WordPress. Yet another reincarnation of the same thing, if you will.

Right now I am going to complain about school, college more specifically. My finals begin on Friday with a double shot of Microeconomics and Chemistry II, both of which I am somewhat lost about. The funny thing is that I took the AP course for both of these in high school as a senior, but the courses here in college seem foreign and unusual, like customs of other countries.

Long story short, I have to do well on these exams and I should be studying for real. I am not exactly jiving with NAFTA or rigid rotors. So I am going to stop writing. I also have to find out exporting things to Facebook, this seems more handy.